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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  March 15, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EDT

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i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. chris christie interviewed donald trump today at a rally in north carolina. well, it was either a rally or in the waiting room of the world's most patriotic dentist. [ laughter ] during the interview, christie asked trump to talk about what kind of father he's been, to which trump replied, "a creepy one." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hillary clinton reminded attendees at last night's democratic forum that she's received more votes than anybody else so far in the primary process. at which point the moderator said, "mrs. clinton, i haven't finished introducing you yet." [ laughter ] when endorsing donald trump for president last week, dr. ben carson said that "there are two different trumps." i don't know, ben, that might just be a side effect of the nyquil.
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[ cheers and applause ] following reports that bernie sanders supporters were responsible for the disturbances that caused the donald trump rally to be called off, trump has started threatening to send his own supporters to sander's events. though if you don't want to be compared to hitler, maybe don't send your followers after the jewish guy. [ laughter ] maybe. [ cheers and applause ] marco rubio was interrupted by a heckler at a florida campaign rally yesterday who accused rubio of stealing his girlfriend. when in reality, rubio tried to steal his girlfriend, but finished fourth. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] so the girlfriend's gone, it's just he doesn't have her. north korea claimed yesterday that they could wipe out manhattan with one of their hydrogen bombs. though, i find it hard to
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willingly destroy that many restaurants. [ laughter ] [ applause ] former house speaker, john boehner, posted a picture of himself on twitter this weekend mowing his lawn. even weirder, the caption. [ laughter ] you'd have to be. to enjoy mowing the lawn, you'd have to be. today is pi day and marco rubio is celebrating with some very festive polling numbers. [ laughter and applause ] for the math kids. gotta have a joke for the math kids. [ laughter ] the latest polls show governor john kasich holds a small lead over donald trump in his home state of ohio. whereas everything donald trump holds looks huge because of his tiny baby hands. [ laughter ]
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representatives passed a resolution declaring pornography a public health crisis. said one mother, "if it's not making my son sick, then explain all these tissues." [ audience groans ] so you got it, though. you all -- [ laughter ] i was worried you didn't get it, but i think you got it. [ laughter ] a new restaurant has opened in los angeles that creates special dinners based on the city's most notorious murders and crimes. so you have to be careful if you order an o.j. with your breakfast. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] right? [ applause ] good news. good news masturbation joke, you're not the biggest bummer of the monologue. [ laughter ] over 200,000 people attended the australian international tattoo expo this past weekend.
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enthusiasts, everyone from people with face tattoos to people with jobs. [ laughter ] and finally, scientists recently conducted an experiment in which monkeys with mechanical brain implants were able to move wheelchairs with their minds. it was a great day for science but a terrifying one for the person in the wheelchair. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen we got a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she is the star of the new broadway show, "eclipse." it's fantastic. i saw it this weekend. lupita nyong'o is here this evening. [ cheers and applause ] he is one of the stars of a very funny show on tbs, "angie tribeca," which is having a second season coming up, he's a dear friend of mine, hayes macarthur is with us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from a wonderful performer, chris janson is on the show tonight for the very first time. [ cheers and applause ] so looking forward to talking to
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but before we get to all of that, an escalating series of violent incidents at donald trump rallies over the last few weeks encouraged by trump himself has observers in both parties worried about what could happen next. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the last few weeks in particular have been marked by a series of disturbing incidents at trump rallies. for months, journalists and protesters have reported the increasing use of racial slurs and violent threats. and then on wednesday, this happened. >> the 78-year-old man, 78, has just been charged with assault after allegedly hitting a protester at a donald trump rally in north carolina. >> it's this shot caught on camera that has donald trump facing new fire. you can see the supporter, 78-year-old john mcgraw, sucker punching a protester at a north carolina rally. >> seth: first of all, if there's ever been someone who screams sucker puncher, it's this guy. [ laughter ] hat, vest, ponytail -- he looks like he's wearing a
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sucker puncher." [ laughter ] and the next time you doubt being black in america might have some downsides, notice that after the sucker punch, police tackled the guy who got punched. [ audience ohs ] "what happened officer?" "out of nowhere, this kid just head-butted that old man's elbow." [ laughter ] so already, trump's rallies have grown violent and menacing. and that was all a prelude to what happened friday night. >> in chicago friday night, thousands of anti-trump protesters forced donald trump to cancel his rally. >> well, last night's donald trump rally in chicago has been postponed on security concerns after protests erupted before the candidate ever took the stage. >> we're seeing people celebrating the cancellation of this event. i just -- it's important to say because, you know, some people have speculated, oh, was it some violence from the protesters that caused this to be shut down. not the case. >> seth: wait, wait, wait a second. [ laughter ] who is that dude walking through the background in that last clip? is that -- is that the pope?
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chicago was so crazy even the pope showed up and then got out of there. [ laughter ] so there were very intense scenes at trump's rally friday night in chicago, which caused him to postpone. of course, the chaos only resulted in more air time for trump, who did lengthy interviews with all the major cable news channels and complained about his inability to hold a rally without being interrupted. and made it sound like this is a problem that isn't unique to him. >> it's a little bit sad when you can't have a rally in a major city in this country. you know we can't have a rally in a major city? >> seth: that's right. you can't have a rally in a major city. which is why, that same night, at a rally with thousands of people just 12 miles away, bernie sanders faced a similarly ugly scene. this land is your land this land is my land [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: bernie's candidacy is less of a political campaign and more of just a national drum circle. [ laughter ] literally, look at the size of
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bernie sanders hates the big banks. loves the big drums. it's becoming clear that woodstock never really died, it bought a suit and ran for president. [ laughter ] so despite the fact that other candidates have had no problems, trump claims he's not responsible in any way for the violence at his own events. >> do you accept any responsibility for creating this atmosphere? >> i don't accept responsibility. i do not condone violence in any shape. >> seth: trump claims he doesn't condone violence, which is true, if you exclude all the times he explicitly condoned violence. >> i love the old days. you know what they used to do to guys like that when they were in a place like this? they'd be carried out on a stretcher, folks. i'd like to punch him in the face, i'll tell you. get him out, try not to hurt him. if you do, i'll defend you in court. if you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? seriously. >> seth: if i saw someone getting ready to throw a tomato, i'd ask them, "are you a
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heckler from the 1800s?" [ laughter ] but apparently tough guy donald trump is actually very concerned about the prospect of getting hit with some rotten fruit as he explained on sunday. >> now, if you get hit in the face with a tomato, let me tell you -- with somebody with a strong arm at least. let me tell you, it can be very damaging, not good. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, it wouldn't be that damaging for you. you already look like you got hit in the face with a tomato. [ cheers and applause ] there's no way to tell if that photo is before tomato or after tomato. but perhaps the scariest thing about the incidents at trump rallies is they could be helping him with gop primary voters more than they're hurting him. according to a new monmouth poll, "22% of republican voters said the scenes in chicago made them more likely to support trump, while 11% said it made them less likely." protesting trump is justified, but unfortunately, he just seems to feed off of the anger. which is why i'm a fan of anti-trump protest signs like
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not the one in the front that says "democracies are built on respect. fascist states are built on fear." the one behind it. "trump puts ketchup on his hot dogs." [ laughter ] that is a mortal sin in chicago. that's like eating your pizza with a fork in new york city. oh yeah, he did that, too. in his defense, donald trump's are too small to hold a slice of new york pizza. [ laughter and applause ] digiorno hands. he's got little digiorno hands. but this sign is a valuable example. no matter how extreme donald trump gets and how serious the potential outcomes are, we have to continue to mock him. calling him a racist or a fascist is important, but it doesn't seem to rattle him. remember though, he's also a huge narcissist. so at his rallies i suggest passive aggressive signs that chip away at his ego. signs like, "i'm sorry, you look familiar, where do i know you from?" [ laughter ] or "have you gained weight?" [ laughter ] or "what is your rage compensating for?" [ laughter ] or "i learned to spell at trump
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or even "due to the vast chasm of attractiveness between you and your wife, i am of the opinion that she is only with you for the money." [ laughter ] that would hurt trump's ego way more than calling him a fascist. because he hates being laughed at. and believe me, i know. >> seth: donald trump often appears on fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on donald trump's head. [ laughter ] that was five years ago. [ cheers and applause ] that was five years ago. he still eggs my house every morning. [ laughter ] with the best eggs. he faberge eggs my house. in fact, at a speech days before the new hampshire primary, trump even said that, "a lot of people have laughed at me over the years. now, they're not laughing so much." that's his goal, to not be laughed at, which is why we can't stop. it is possible to take him seriously and also remember he's a clown. yes, he's a dangerous clown.
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but at the end of the day, he's still a [ bleep ] clown. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and never -- never were both the danger and the ridiculousness of trump on better display than when he asked supporters at his rally to raise their hands and pledge to vote for him. it was terrifying image to a lot of people. and most trump supporters went along with the pledge except for one notable holdout. >> i do solemnly swear -- >> i do solemnly swear -- >> reporter: look at the furry four-legged audience member who seemed to be an unwilling pledge participant. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's right, a dog refused to take the pledge. dogs, it should be noted, are literally known for their loyalty. but even a dog is like, "this is [ bleep ] up. i don't wanna do this." [ laughter and applause ] take a cue from that guy. this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night."
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band over there! [ cheers and applause ] it's so good to see you guy after a week off. also sitting with the band all week, he's the drummer for not one, but two of the biggest rock bands on the planet, pearl jam and soundgarden, matt cameron is here, tonight! [ cheers and applause ] and all week, be sure to check
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upcoming north american tour, which kicks off april 8th in ft. lauderdale and wrapped may 11th in toronto. matt, thank you for being here this week. >> thank you, brother. >> seth: i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] now, moving on, are you guys familiar with these dog shaming websites? here is the deal if you're not. how it works is, people take a picture of their dog looking guilty next to a little sign that says what the dog did. for example, here's an example right here. "i like to hide tennis balls around the house." very cute, right? here's another one. "i ate my daddy's wooden furniture." adorable, adorable. these are all minor offenses, you guys. and after searching the internet, we found some websites featuring dogs that have done much, much worse things. [ laughter ] we'd like to show them to you now in a segment we call "extreme dog shaming." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: extreme indeed. let's take a look at our first dog. this guy is adorable. [ crowd aws ] i can't imagine he'd do anything too bad.
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leave the clicking keyboard sound on." [ laughter ] bad dog. bad dog. who do we have next? awww, he looks pretty innocent to me. [ crowd aws ] "i put both my hands on the wall when i use the urinal." [ laughter ] oh. [ laughter ] bad dog. [ laughter ] who's next? he couldn't have done anything too bad. [ crowd aws ] "when a pit bull mauls somebody, i offer to pay his legal fees." [ laughter and applause ] bad dog. who do we have next? oh, he's a cute little guy. "when ever someone i know dies, i immediately post a comment on their facebook wall asking how it happened." [ crowd aws ] [ laughter ] bad dog. [ laughter ] who's next? oh, cute little puppers. "in 'batman versus superman,' i hope they both die." [ laughter ] bad dog. aquaman fan. [ laughter ] all right, let's see who is
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aww, so cute. "i want to build a wall to keep all the chihuahuas out." [ laughter ] bad dog. that dog, surprisingly, doing very well in the polls. [ laughter ] who do we have next? oh, he's a little cutie. "i only fist bump my black friends." [ laughter ] don't do that. they don't like it. who do we have next? oh, a nice little mutt. "i just had puppies." okay, well, that doesn't sound too bad. oh, i'm sorry. there's more. "i refuse to vaccinate them." [ laughter ] we live in a society where there -- [ laughter ] what's the point? [ laughter ] who do we have next? look at this cute little fella. "when i get dressed at the gym, i do underwear last." [ laughter ] that's weird. you know he's doing this first. [ laughter ] who do we have next? oh, what did you do? "i told the police she was 18,
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[ crowd ohs ] and that's my favorite one. [ laughter ] it's a tie. who do we have next? oh, wait a minute. this is my dog, frisbee. frisbee, what did you do? "i seriously question what kind of man buys a dog like me." i'm gonna win you over someday, frisbee. that was "extreme dog shaming." we'll be right back with more
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our first guest won an academy award for her work in, "12 years a slave," and will appear in the new film, "the jungle book" which opens everywhere, april 15th. she is currently making her broadway debut in the critically acclaimed show, "eclipsed."
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i'm so happy to see you. i saw the play this weekend, it was fantastic, congratulations. >> seth: and i sit down, and i get the playbill. the front. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: you know, it's your look at this, double duty. you're on the back as well. [ laughter ] and this is really great. 'cause it's like the two sides of lupita. this is very sad, very serious. having a good time. [ laughter ] did you, when you saw this, did you realize this was a big accomplishment. >> yeah. i was tickled by it, too. [ laughter ] >> seth: i thought this does not look like the play i came to see. [ light laughter ] and then i realized that was the back of it, and that made a lot more sense. [ light laughter ] this play you have a long relationship with, because is this true, that you were an understudy for it back in drama school? >> yes, it was the very first thing i understudied when i got to yale school of drama. and, i never went on, thank goodness. >> seth: is that, when you are an understudy, are you happy not to go on? >> yes --
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because -- >> seth: got it. >> -- i had like maybe five to six other roles that i was playing every day. so i made -- >> seth: that was too much. >> it was too much. >> seth: you only knew like, 30% of the lines. [ light laughter ] >> basically. and there's an accent involved and all that stuff. >> seth: right. >> i took very good care of adepero oduye, who was playing the girl at the time. >> seth: oh, so you never wanted her to get sick? >> no, no, no -- >> seth: do you -- now, do you feel that from your understudy, or do you think she's like, looking for you to take a fall? [ laughter ] >> we are very lucky. our understudies are really cool people. i think they have our back, i hope. >> seth: okay, that's good. did you though -- so when you understudied the play. and even though you mentioned you had a lot of other things you were working on back then. when you started rehearsing for this, how much of it did you remember from your understudy days? >> you know, it stayed with me. because as an understudy, you are in the room every day they're in rehearsal. you see it happen. and then you have to watch the show every night. so it stayed with me and it lingered with me, but i did not pick up the script until i was at the reading at the public.
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it. because i was like, "oh my god, what have i gotten myself into? who asked me to do this?" but it's been an incredible journey. and i love doing it every day. >> seth: and you play -- you play someone about half your age. you play a teenager, a young teenager. is that, i mean, i found it completely believable. is that something you took into account when you started doing it? especially since it's a part that you were understudying when you were younger. >> well -- you know, i just played a 1,000-year-old woman in "star wars" so -- >> seth: very believably, by the way. [ laughter ] 'cause i know some 1,000-year-olds and nobody gets it right in movies. [ laughter ] >> well, that's what i love about acting, is that you can really do things that you otherwise wouldn't get to do. >> seth: this movie is about the liberian second civil war. and it's about a group of women. and obviously it's very heavy material, but also there's a lot of lightness and comedy in it as well, especially, i would say, the relationships between the wives.
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all aware of when you start rehearsing it, the importance of having the humor? >> i mean, yeah, i think danai gurira, the writer of the play, she did an incredible job of capturing how people survive in very extreme situations. you know, when you live in those kinds of circumstances, you have to find a way to get by. you have to find things to amuse you and entertain you. and she's included that in the story. so it feels very believable. definitely, when we were rehearsing, we would just kill each other with the laughter. but you have to keep in mind the severity of the circumstances these women are in as well. >> seth: and having to go through that severity, because, you know, it does take you on quite an emotional journey. how do you sort of prepare for that every night, and how do you at the end of the night, come down from it? does it sort of overwhelm your life? do you feel the sort of sadness of your character while doing a play like this, or do you sort of come out of it? >> well, it stays with me, of
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every single night. >> seth: your understudy wants you to know, that's not the case. [ laughter ] >> but i knit. >> seth: oh, you do? >> yes, i knit before i get on stage. and it's very zen. and we, as a cast, as an ensemble we have rituals to help us get in and out of -- >> seth: what sort of rituals do you guy do? >> i can't tell you. >> seth: really? >> no, it will lose its magic. >> seth: i need it, 'cause this show stays with me every night, i'm a mess. [ laughter ] >> you should knit. >> seth: yeah, start knitting. obviously this show, as i mentioned, has this drama to it. but this might be the most harrowing thing. is it true that you were stood up for your prom in real life? >> yeah. [ audience aws ] >> seth: that's what you channel. >> i remember. >> seth: how did it go down? >> well there was this guy in my neighborhood that i thought was so cute. and i gathered up the guts to ask him to prom. i didn't talk to him much at all. but i asked him to prom.
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so you're making a case for why this guy might have thought, "this is a little weird." >> yes, exactly. [ laughter ] i should have picked better. yeah, so i asked him to go. he was like, "sure, sure, sure." i told him what the color scheme was going to be because i was designing my own dress and everything. >> seth: this is getting sadder. [ laughter ] >> i think it scared him because i was going to wear red and yellow. and, maybe he didn't have a red suit. but he didn't show up. >> seth: okay. was he supposed to pick you up? >> um -- no. >> seth: so you -- oh no! so you were there? >> yeah. >> seth: oh, no. >> yeah, okay and it was the first prom my school had ever thrown. prom was a very foreign concept at that point, when i was in kenya. >> seth: got it. >> and i was on the committee to make it happen and everything like that. >> seth: oh, no. >> and yeah, he didn't show up. >> seth: he didn't show up. well, hopefully he regretted it. [ laughter ] but i do think if there's a lesson out there to any young girls, it's not red and yellow. [ laughter ] try to stay away from red and yellow.
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>> seth: this is beautiful. this, any guy has a suit that goes with that. [ laughter ] thank you so much for being here. congrats again on the play. it was really wonderful. i loved that i got to see it. lupita nyong'o, everybody! "eclipsed" is playing at the john golden theater now, through june 19th. we'll be back with hayes macarthur. [ cheers and applause ] only those who dare... drive the world forward.
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there are those who say we cannot defeat a corrupt political system and fix a rigged economy. but i believe we need to lift our vision above the obstacles in place and look to the american horizon. to a nation where every child can not only dream of going to college, but attend one. where quality healthcare will be a birthright of every citizen. where a good job is not a wish, but a reality. where women receive equal pay and a living wage is paid to all.
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there is time for rest and grandchildren. a nation that defends our people and our values, but no longer carries so much of that burden alone. i know we can create that america if we listen to our conscience and our hearts and not to the pundits and the naysayers. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message, and i ask for your vote. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest tonight is an actor and comedian who stars as detective jay giels in the very funny series, "angie tribeca."
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let's take a look. >> not the wife. >> how do you know? >> because. she has nothing to gain, she's set. >> what about the mistress? >> she's not even the mistress. who took those pictures? i don't know, i think we're missing something. it just doesn't add up. [ mumbling incoherently ] >> you know what, geils? you may be on to something. [ groaning ] [ laughter >> seth: please welcome to the show, my very good friend, hayes macarthur. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hi, friend! >> what's up, sooth? >> seth: it's great to see you, buddy. now, we are old friends. we've known each other a very long time. you were roommates with my brother and ike berenholtz, our friend, the actor. people might know from "mindy project," "neighbors."
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l.a. known as "camp hollywood." >> we called it camp hollywood. but it was a camp in the way you refer to gitmo as a camp. [ laughter ] it was an awful place. >> seth: it was not a nice place. i spent a couple summers living there. how -- describe some of the worst moments at camp hollywood. >> well i mean, to describe the aesthetic as being a crack den would be a compliment to that house, i think. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> do you remember the story of when we had rats? >> seth: i remember rats were sort of an ongoing story. >> yeah. well, we had an infestation of rats. and instead of getting an exterminator, like normal people would do -- >> seth: uh-huh. >> your brother wanted to get a mouse trap. >> seth: well, if you guys had money you wouldn't have been living in camp hollywood. >> yeah, well we were young and idealistic. we didn't know that hollywood was really full of rats. >> seth: so you bought mouse traps. >> we got the mouse trap and we baited it with pizza crust. >> seth: okay. >> 'cause we had just ran out of caviar. [ laughter ] i go to bed, and i hear this -- like this slap. and i'm like, good, we solved the problem. josh's solution worked, we are
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i go to the kitchen and i see a rat the size of a toyota prius. [ laughter ] much bigger than frisbee. >> seth: no, that's fine. i'd say, yeah. >> a big rat, and it's wearing josh's mouse trap like a wooden clip on necktie. [ laughter ] just a tiny thing, dangling here. and i'm freaking out. i got to go get help. your brother is upstairs living like a king on the top floor. so i gotta go get ike. i wake him up on the couch. i say, "ike, we don't have mice, we have rats." he says, "i'm just gonna go back to sleep and dream we live in a mansion." >> seth: the rats continued to be a problem. >> yeah. >> seth: the other thing i remember about when we first met is you were, you played college football. you were a quarterback in football. >> yeah. >> seth: and you -- were you the kind of guy, i don't remember talking to you about this. but did you keep track about your stats over the years? 'cause you held some records. >> i never told you about my records? >> seth: i'm trying to be polite. >> every time we were together,
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all time leading passer in boden college history. >> seth: if you don't know, boden college, not known as a football school. >> no, it's division three. they say there's no division four. [ laughter ] >> seth: but you still hold the record. >> i did, for a long time. i had all time leading touchdowns and career yardage and most completions. last year, a kid came along, broke every single record. now i'm just the all-time leading interception thrower. >> seth: he didn't, so you have that as your only record. >> most interceptions in 120 years. i've thrown the most interceptions. [ laughter ] i like to look at it like i'm the most generous quarterback that's ever played. >> seth: that's true. >> i've thrown the most completions to the other team. [ laughter ] >> seth: you've been redistributing your wealth. [ light laughter ] now, would you rather be out of the record books or hold one record? even if it's that one. >> no, i'd rather have a good one. i want touchdowns. >> seth: no, you can't choose touchdowns. you're either out -- >> i want out of the books. >> seth: you want out. >> i want to erase them. i'm going to break into the
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to white them out. i might go to games and cheer for the other team. >> seth: poetry books, literature, poetry book in the boden library looking for football records. >> they're not there. >> seth: they're not there. "we don't keep those in the library." [ laughter ] let me ask you something else. 'cause again, i want to take your football career seriously. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> seth: because you played on a semi-pro team in l.a. this is a real deal, you guys, the l.a. wranglers? >> you said you were taking my football career seriously, and then you said, "semi." >> seth: wasn't it semi-professional? >> it was semi-pro. >> seth: you didn't come home with enough money for an exterminator. [ laughter ] >> it was just like professional football with no money and no fans. [ laughter ] >> seth: i didn't know the no fans part. because you played a game at the staples center. >> that's right. >> seth: that's where like, professional sports teams play. >> when you showed up though, and you saw that it was just you and two other guys in the entire staples center, you knew we didn't have fans. >> seth: it was creepy. >> it was crazy. >> seth: i've never -- it's as if i was a billionaire who paid
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football for me. like, "daddy i want a football league! but i don't want other people in the stands, just me! get that boy from boden who throws all the interceptions. i want him!" [ laughter and applause ] >> don't laugh at that! that's not funny! >> seth: so -- i'd never played in an arena before. i went to the staples center. and as a quarterback, out of bounds is your best friend. >> seth: right, but this was arena football rules. there's no out of bounds. >> no out of bounds. and out of bounds is like, if you do something to a guy in bounds and crush him, everybody cheers. out of bounds, same thing, they punish the whole team. >> seth: yeah. >> it's a fine line, out of bounds. like, literally a fine line. >> seth: yeah, they mark it with a line. [ laughter ] >> with a line. >> seth: yeah, that's how fine a line it is. >> i could not find the out of bounds. the last thing i saw when i was running the ball, fully in the middle of passing out, maybe a concussion, i don't know what's happening, i look in the stands
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i catch seth's eye. he goes from -- to, "oooh." [ laughter ] >> seth: and you heard me because there were only two other people. [ laughter ] >> it echoed throughout the stadium. >> seth: there was another team that was owned by snoop dogg at the same time, right? >> right, the l.a. gun slingers had a rival in -- >> seth: you were the l.a. gun slingers? >> we were the l.a. gun slingers. and it was called the l.a. gunslingers, because every guy on the team had guns. >> seth: right, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and the rival team was the long beach all-stars, which was owned, part owned by snoop, who also played in the games. snoop dogg. >> seth: he played in the games? >> yeah, he put himself in, in the red zone. which is, you know, right when you are going to score a touchdown. and snoop would come in. 'cause if he scored, he could put his hands behind his back. 'cause his moves are so nasty, they should be illegal. [ laughter ] >> seth: that was his touchdown celebration? >> yeah, just getting arrested. [ laughter ] there was a huge fight that broke out. you wouldn't have been in the
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were at the staples center by yourself. the gun slingers played the long beach all-stars. the team started fighting. >> seth: oh, really? so there was a fight on the field during the game? >> a fight on the field during the game. i didn't know what to do. i looked at the ref, i said, what are we gonna do? the ref said, "there's going to be a gang fight here, i'm calling the game." i drove home in my equipment. [ laughter ] in my pads, with my helmet on, just to get home. >> seth: if there was going to be a gang war, between the gunslingers and the all-stars, you should have taken off your uniform. [ laughter ] >> that was the first thing you would have thought. but that was my protection. >> seth: now you -- >> but then i saw snoop again. >> seth: oh, right, you came to snl when he hosted. >> i came to snl when he was the guest, the musical guest and host to see you. we were hanging out afterward. and i said, "you guys, watch this, i'm going to go up to snoop and i'm going to tell him that i'm a gun slinger quarterback and he's going to be blown away, check this out."
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quarterback l.a. gun slingers." he goes, "all right." just walks away. [ laughter ] i'm like, did he carry that beef back to the east coast, or is he just like super high and he doesn't remember? >> seth: i will say this. i've known you a long time. every time you said to us, "hey guys watch this," it's worked out way better for us than you. >> watch this. [ laughter ] >> seth: you know we are about to have our first baby. you are a father of two. you have a son, 5 years-old now? >> yeah. >> seth: how is your parenting going? do you feel like you're getting good messaging across? >> i'm trying. it's a work in progress. you know, you're figuring it out as you go. like yesterday, my kid got kicked in the stomach at a birthday party. and i was putting him to bed, and he said, "daddy, i should have hit that kid back." and i said, "no, teddy. you never hit anyone, don't hit. but when you are older, you
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i went to bed thinking, i'm doing great as a dad. that's really great advice. i crushed that one. [ laughter ] there's no better way to handle that. next morning, wake up, my wife comes downstairs and my son goes, "daddy said i can hit kids as long as they're older." [ laughter ] exact opposite -- [ laughter ] >> seth: now, with teddy, i hate to bring this up, was teddy the 1-year-old you locked in the car while you were buying sandwiches? [ laughter ] >> you know, we share a personal history. now we are going to do share time, tell some stories. >> seth: yeah. >> i did. the first outing by myself with my son, i locked him in the car. i went to pick up sandwiches. he was a little fussy. so you give a kid who's fussy, car keys to play with. 'cause that's what you do when you're a good dad, and you want to distract him. you give him car keys. >> seth: or bring a toy. >> or bring a toy.
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[ laughter ] i load him in the car, strap him into the car seat, put the sandwiches in the back seat. give him the car keys, so he can entertain himself. i'm walking around the car and i hear the doors lock. [ laughter ] >> seth: because he's got the button. >> he's got the button. he's pushing the button. and i'm that guy. all of a sudden, you go from greatest dad in the world to like, that guy. like that. so i'm trying to coach him through the glass. like, keep pressing the buttons to unlock the thing. and he presses the panic alarm on the thing. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] which i call the bad dad alarm. 'cause it just makes everybody start looking. like, "why is that dad freaking out?" it could not have been an easier solution. 'cause i remembered i had that satellite system that comes with your car and you are like "i'm never going to use this. this is ridiculous." i used it. >> seth: so what do you do call on your cell phone? >> you call a 1-800 number. option number one is "press 1 if you have locked a kid or animal in the car." >> seth: so you're not alone. [ laughter ] >> it makes you feel so much less of an idiot. like, this is the number one option.
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i'm not the first one to do this. this is their number one option. i pressed it. and from a spaceship, they shot a beam and unlocked. could not have been less to do -- doors open up, grab the keys, drove home. didn't tell my wife until this interview. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: hayes macarthur everybody! "angie tribeca," such a fantastic show. [ cheers and applause ] airs monday nights on tbs. we'll be right back with music from chris janson. [ cheers and applause ] we belong together we belong together yes we do (announcer) the best deserves the e st.
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to the new samsung galaxy s7 edge and get 24 bonus gigs a year. on verizon, america's #1 network. yeah, we rocking right now. there's a party over here. there's a party right now. hey, i'm in heaven. brandon thinks hellmann's is heaven in a jar. that's because our ingredients come from... farmers committed to responsibly sourced oils... blended with ingredients like cage-free eggs. mmm. heaven. real ingredients. that's how we're working to bring out the best. i take pictures of sunrises. it's my job and it's also my passion. but with my back pain i couldn't sleep... so i couldn't get up in time. then i found aleve pm. aleve pm is the only one to combine a sleep aid plus the 12-hour strength of aleve... for pain relief that can last into the morning.
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i'm in heaven. american workers brought us back from the crash. now, let's move forward. we need jobs that provide dignity and a bright future. new penalties to stop companies from moving profits and jobs overseas. for businesses that create manufacturing jobs, a new tax credit. and let's invest in clean energy jobs,
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her first term. we've gotta create new jobs and industries of the future. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. hmm hmm hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm-hmm let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together [ cheering ] i've got some real estate here in my bag counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike they've all come to look for america [ cheers and applause ] all come to look for america
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all come to look for america i'm bernie sanders, and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: with his number one platinum-certified debut single "buy me a boat," tonight's musical guest closed out 2015 on multiple year-end lists and earned three academy of country music award nominations. here to perform the follow-up single, "the power of positive
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show, chris janson. [ cheers and applause ] work sucks truck died hot as hell outside my ac just broke just broke the woman i love packed half of my stuff and she took off down the road where she went i don't know but she's never coming back my life feels like a joke but it hurts too much to laugh so i go to that little place where the good times always roll in the glow of the neon light where i know now there's a new song i'll be singing before i leave yeah
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power of positive drinking beer one tastes just like a beer beer two a little bit better than one beer three beer four yeah that was pretty damn good so hand me one more beer five i'm coming alive beer six lord it went down quick seven eight nine i'm feeling fine and by number ten life's good again hey yeah that's the power of positive drinking oh where she went i don't know but she's never coming back my life feels like a joke but it hurts too much to laugh so i go to that little place where the good times always roll
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neon light where i know there's a new song i'll be singing before i leave yeah i believe in the power of positive drinking yeah that's the power of positive drinking [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: chris janson! the album, "buy me a boat," is out now!
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[ cheers and applause ] there are those who say we cannot defeat a corrupt political system and fix a rigged economy. but i believe we need to lift our vision above the obstacles in place and look to the american horizon. to a nation where every child can not only dream of going to college, but attend one. where quality healthcare will be a birthright of every citizen. where a good job is not a wish, but a reality. where women receive equal pay and a living wage is paid to all. an america where after a lifetime of labor, there is time for rest and grandchildren. a nation that defends our people and our values,
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i know we can create that america if we listen to our conscience and our hearts and not to the pundits and the naysayers. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to lupita nyong'o, hayes macarthur, chris janson, everybody! matt cameron, and of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow.
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>> carson: hello everybody, i'm carson daly with tonights "last call" coming to you from the skylark. coming up, we serve up a tv debut from gateway drugs by way of the regent and we're gonna spotlight the oscar-nominated production designer behind "mad max: fury road," colin gibson. but first, legendary snowboarder, skateboarder, and all around bad ass, shaun white's here to talk about his air and style festival. here we go. >> i particularly don't like sports. [ laughter ] i can't say -- i can't say that i don't like them i just don't follow them. even my sport sometimes just because i can't. i get, like, anxious. i want to participate. like, i can't just watch it on tv. and it's the worst 'cause they send me to an event like the espys, and i just don't know who anyone is. and they all know me.

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